The lie we tell ourselves about tomorrow

Some of you know that Shannon and I have spent the last year and a half deep in meditation work, going to events with teachers like Joe Dispenza. One idea from him has stuck with me more than almost anything else: there’s no possibility in the past. And yet so many of us live there anyway.

We carry our hurt and our pain around like it’s still happening. Who did us wrong, what went sideways, the thing that stung twenty years ago. Then we drag that same feeling into the future, building a story in our heads about how the next hard conversation is going to go before we’ve even walked into the room.

The only real peace, the only truth, is in the present.

I talk about being present with people all the time. At my speaking events, I’ll have everyone greet each other and I take time to notice the difference between someone who’s actually with you in that moment and someone who’s simply going through the motions. I see it in offices too. A new client may walk in, and the team is behind schedule or having a rough day, and instead of being present with that person, they rush to get through the interaction. That’s the opposite of what people actually want. Everyone wants to know that when they’re sitting across from you, you’re really there.

Think about what that Dispenza line really means. Twenty or thirty years ago, you were hurt. Wronged. Your brother stole from you, a teacher was mean to you, someone bullied you. There is nothing, literally nothing, that can be done about any of it now. And yet most of us spend way too much time replaying it. I’m guilty of this myself too.

But for leaders, and for team members, presence is the muscle worth building. That’s where all the possibility actually lives. Right now, in this moment, the only thing either of us can do about something is what we choose right now. Not what happened before. Not what we’re bracing for next.

So here’s the ask this week. Be more present with the people in front of you. Don’t fight what’s happening around you, and don’t drag your fears into a future that hasn’t arrived yet. Put the phone down this weekend. Set your expectations aside. Let go of the past, since there’s no possibility there anyway, and don’t borrow trouble from the future either. Just be where you are.

Proactive, Productive, and Profitable,
Dino