How to Truly Engage in the Age of Distraction

I want to continue our conversation about connection, diving deeper into the impact of our dwindling attention spans and what we can do about it.

Let’s be real- our ability to connect genuinely is increasingly compromised by our reliance on technology.

There’s an adage that people have a shorter attention span than goldfish, and it’s becoming truer every day, especially with our constant use of technology. The movie and television industries recognize this trend. Streaming services like Hulu and Netflix create programming with the expectation that viewers will be scrolling on their phones while watching. They’re investing millions of dollars into content designed for “dual-screen” consumption. This means they’re not trying to capture your full attention; instead, they’re producing shows and movies that you can follow even while distracted. Have you noticed how some plots seem thinner and easier to follow? That’s intentional.

As a speaker, I train on how to become “single-screen worthy.” When people come into a conference room, distractions abound. Unlike the comfort of your couch, a conference setting has even more elements pulling at your attention. So, as a speaker, you have to be compelling enough to hold the audience’s focus amidst all these distractions.

Personally, I’ve developed a bad habit of grabbing my phone during any lull in activity—standing in line, sitting at a red light, you name it.

And if I’m doing it, millions of others are too.

But it isn’t only speakers who need to connect with their audience.

The ever-present technology poses a significant challenge for anyone trying to convey a message, be it a CEO addressing their team, a doctor training staff, or a business owner conducting a meeting. You have to figure out how to keep your audience’s attention.

As we discussed last week, getting curious about those around you can help strengthen your personal connections. Additionally, here are some other ideas to try

1. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage deeper conversations by asking questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, instead of asking, “Did you have a good weekend?” ask, “What was the highlight of your weekend?” This invites more detailed responses and fosters meaningful dialogue.

2. Practice Active Listening: Show genuine interest by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and giving verbal affirmations. Reflect back what you’ve heard by summarizing or paraphrasing their points. Chris Voss, in Never Split the Difference, suggests repeating the last few words someone says to prompt deeper responses. For example, if they say, “I just couldn’t believe he treated me that way,” respond with, “You couldn’t believe he treated you that way?” This technique encourages more detailed communication and can be very effective in conversations.

3. Share Personal Stories: Open up about your own experiences to create a more relatable and human connection. Sharing a relevant personal story can encourage others to do the same, breaking down barriers and building trust.

5. Create a Collaborative Environment: Foster an atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable sharing their ideas and opinions. Encourage team projects, brainstorming sessions, and collaborative decision-making processes. By valuing each person’s contribution, you create a more inclusive and engaging environment.

ur goal should be to foster genuine engagement and dialogue, not just in our personal interactions but in professional settings too. If you notice a colleague who rarely speaks up, engage them with open-ended questions. Make them feel heard and valued. If your team often seeks clarification on instructions you’ve already given, it might be because your initial communication was more about making statements than engaging in a dialogue.

Technology, while beneficial in many ways, often gets in the way of real personal connection. We need to be mindful of its impact and strive to create more meaningful and engaging conversations.

f you’d like to learn more about enhancing your engagement skills, our next Stand and Deliver Bootcamp is happening on September 5-7, and we’d love for you to be a part of it.

Let’s work together to create more meaningful and engaging conversations.

Proactive, Productive and Profitable,

Dino