This week I want to talk about something that maybe you don’t recognize is affecting you as much as it really is. And that’s criticism.
Having people in your life who love to criticize you or make you feel less than or make you feel like you are not doing enough is normal. Everyone has critics. And everyone can be a critic. It may not be someone you talk to daily, but maybe it is reading a review that takes you into a negative mindset. Maybe it is just listening to the complaints that people have.
It’s really easy to be a critic and complain about things that you have no control over. It’s a lot harder to be a solutions provider. It is time to stop listening to the critics.
I know that sounds simple to do but it isn’t easy. It takes some time and practice. You have to build up that muscle of not listening to the critics that don’t serve you.
Sometimes we get stuck in the criticism when we listen to other people critiquing us, telling us that we are not doing something right or wrong. Maybe they are upset about a service they are receiving that isn’t necessarily because you gave them the wrong service but aren’t participating in the service the way they should. Maybe there is something wrong in your service to them and you are willing to admit it and talk bout it and have that radical transparency but they are not receiving it well. So you take that and the negative self-talk starts in your head. And then you begin to spiral. Why am I doing this? I’m not good enough. I should quit.
I’ve been there. My clients have been there. I want you to create habits that empower you.
Contradict the negative self-talk in your head by speaking positive talk out loud. If you come up to me and ask how I’m doing, you’ll hear me say “I’m Awesome!”. I don’t do this because it’s cool or I am narcissistic. I do this because I also battle negative self-talk in my head so I counter it by allowing myself to hear “I’m awesome”. Let’s face it, we all have critics- there is no need to add yourself to that list. Instead of being a self-critic, try to become a self affirmer.
Ask for things you need. If you aren’t feeling great about yourself, ask someone to help you out by telling you how awesome you are. Finish a task and say to your coworkers “How awesome was that? I did a great job, right?”. And do the same for them in return. Set the example and create an atmosphere of sincere praise for a job well done.
I once had a mentor give me some great wisdom: If you don’t have critics, you aren’t working hard enough. So don’t feel bad that you have critics. Instead, realize that this is a normal part of life and then decide if you want to give those critics power over you.
I hope this week you can find that place of peace and love and compassion for yourself. You deserve it. You are doing a great job!